Chapter 31 “Meiren Shixiong”

Chapter Thirty One Meiren Shixiong

System: “Lei Shen Ni Ni, Yi Xiao Nai He, Lu Wei Wei Wei, Zhen Shui Wu Xiang, Xiao Yu Yao Yao have saved the weak, killed monsters and defeated the Ancient Crone of the Netherworld. They have saved the world, their deeds are to be carved into history and astound all of jianghu.

World:

[Boat Captain Mo]: Did I read it wrong?

[SCPanda]: Whao, the system had a bug!

[Nu Nu . . .]: Played for this long, only found out today that this game lets names be repeated.

[Mo Dao Shi Xue]: What is this! I was chopped all that time for nothing!

[Invincble Dumb Blade]: Wife, let’s get back together. These people could fight a boss together, we have no reason to not be together! Please, please, Wifey, I love you!

[Refreshing To Not Wear Pants]: Kao, I just went to wash underwear. Can’t even keep up.

[SCPanda]: Shock. Refreshing Brother, you actually have underwear!

[Refreshing To Not Wear Pants]: . . . . . .

[Refreshing To not Wear Pants]:  Those that don’t have underwear are urchins. Those that have but do not wear them are heroes.

[SCPanda]: Why wash if you don’t wear them?

[Refreshing To Not Wear Pants]: Why are you so concerned about my underwear? What intentions do you have!

[Above The Southeast Branch][1]: Guys . . . for flirting please use private chat . . . . . otherwise the audience might get embarrassed.

Team:

[Lu Wei Wei Wei]: Ni Ni, we’re going, If you have something, call me. If I’m not there, just find Nai He ^_^

[Lei Shen Ni Ni]: Ah!!! Really?!!!

[Yi Xiao Nai He]: Yes.

[Lu Wei Wei Wei]: ^_^, we’re going, 88[2]

[Lei Shen Ni Ni]: Wait, we haven’t divided the drop yet.

The atmosphere in the caves was weird enough that Wei Wei didn’t want to stay anymore. She retreated along with Nai He before Ni Ni divided the drop. She looked at the silent musician beside her and asked: “What should we do now?”

“Give me a second, on the phone.”

Phone?

Wei Wei thought of a certain possibility, “Uh, you weren’t, were you fighting when on the phone?”

Wei Wei swore, she was only casually asking. But Da Shen’s very natural “En” as though it was expected, shocked her completely. It was true … …

Wei Wei concentrated for a beat and couldn’t imagine it: “…. …How were you controlling with one hand?”

“… … earphones.”

Right, you could use earphones to take calls. Wei Wei said: “Then you continue.”

She hadn’t planned on being online for this long but Wei Wei’s head didn’t have the words “going offline” in there. What was occupying space was the image of Da Shen wearing headphones, expression calm as he listened to the call. To be on the phone and at the same time do that kind of moves at the same time. Da Shen, by some standards, was strong to the point of impossibility.

Wei Wei stared in a daze at the red and white figures sitting together side by side, her red dress floating in the wind.

A few moments later, the musician said: “Wei Wei, I need to go to Shanghai tomorrow.”

It was only eleven, but the cafeteria near the library was already flooded with long lines. Wei Wei and her friends were at the very end. Looking at the crowd in front of them, she could only sigh.

Er Xi was right behind her and laughed tauntingly, “Hey hey hey. Even if your Da Shen isn’t here, you don’t have to sigh because of having to eat with us!”

Wei Wei had heard this multiple times already when they had been studying together this morning. She ignored Er Xi and arched her neck to see what the food choices were today.

Er Xi saw that she wasn’t responding and even more provokingly asked: “Wei Wei, what base have you and your Da Shen proceeded to?”

Wei Wei turned her head, “… … We’ve only met for a week, okay!”

Si Si came over. “You guys met for two hours and confirmed your relationship. Based on that speed, getting together for a week, the kids can be buying soy sauce.”[3]

“… …” Wei Wei said, “Well, there is nothing, I don’t know where the soy sauce store is right now.”

Xiao Ling didn’t believe her. “No way, or is Xiao Da Shen planning on using warm water to cook the frog.”[4]

Wei Wei >_<. “You are a frog.”

Xiao Ling felt it was more reasonable the more she thought about it, “It’s true, it’s definitely this. First, it is using a large fire to boil the water, and then a small flame to slowly boil. Sooner or later, this frog of yours will be eaten!”

Er Xi also found a hint of truth. “Very reasonable. Da Shen’s battle strategy is probably this. First a blitzkrieg, and now it’s trench warfare. Hehehehe.” Her expression was very perverted, “Wei Wei, when are you guys going to have a battle of attrition!”

Si Si agreed and said, “Yeah. First is a tropical rainstorm to confuse your sense of direction. Then it’s a warm breeze and drizzles to mess with your head, after that, what kind of rain is it?”

Si Si tried to think of the next. Wei Wei’s mind came up suddenly with ––

Mount Wu Clouds and Rain.[5]

……

Wei Wei embarrassed herself with her own thoughts.

Er Xi was still emphasizing. “Attrition battle, battle of attrition. Attrition, attrition.”

Wei Wei and the others hadn’t understood what she was implying. However, a certain male student in the line behind them had let out a sound.

Four pairs of eyes turned to look.

It was a tall male student. He had a baby face, very large eyes, looking like a high school student. He had been trying to follow behind them earlier stealthily. Er Xi and the others had seen many of this type before when with Wei Wei. They all had the intentions but not the bravery, so the girls didn’t pay attention.

That student’s white face instantly turned red as they stared. He scratched his head, and embarrassedly said to Wei Wei, “Haha, Sansao, I’m Mo Zha Ta.”

Wei Wei descended into chaos.

Mo Zha Ta? Hao Mei? Da Shen’s dormmate! The one she knew?! No! Wei Wei glared. What they had been discussing before, he had heard all of it?! Ahahah, that was so embarrassing.

And … …

Wei Wei thought back to how Mo Zha Ta had described himself. Supposedly blacker than coal. She looked at the white face of this person before her … …

Wei Wei fell into a fury.

Very good, this person from beginning to end didn’t say the truth. Yesterday, he had given her fake intelligence. Wei Wei added the new hate to the old enmity, and smile in a very friendly manner at him, slowly saying: “So it is ––Mei––ren––Shi––xiong

And so … …

Under the shocked eyes of everybody around, Mo Zha Ta’s white and tender baby face totally warped.

Multiple minutes later, Mo Zha Ta was in a certain dark corner of the cafeteria chewing on lettuce. He furiously took out his phone to complain to a certain someone: Your wife is flirting with me.

Very quickly, a certain somebody returned: Enjoy it, I don’t mind.

Mo Zha Ta almost coughed up blood.

It had to be said, on the matter of certain people’s ability to incite people into a blinding fury, it was really a thousand miles apart, a meeting of minds.

The whole day, there was no news from Xiao Nai. At night, Wei Wei returned from studying and couldn’t resist going online. Xiao Nai obviously wasn’t on but Wei Wei went to their house. She moved the furniture around, watered the plants in the garden, and walked around a few times.

A while later, Yu Gong and the others came online. Wei Wei met up with them, gave Yu Gong and Hou Zi Jiu their new divine pets. They started fighting and talked aimlessly.

Yu Gong: “Kang shifu’s new instant noodles aren’t very good.”

Wei Wei: “There are imitation brands for instant noodles?”

Hou Zi Jiu: “He is a pig so he eats Kang shifu, we eat Kangshifu.[6]

Yu Gong: “Ugh, can’t compare to Laosan. He’s now away, fine wine at hand, surrounded by beauties.”

Wei Wei: “… …”

Mo Zha Ta had lost to Wei Wei today and was trying persistently to create conflict: “Sansao, don’t get angry. When he returns, we’ll help you educate him.”

Wei Wei: “>o<, not angry. I’m very comforted.”

Wei Wei: “Yu Gong used idioms correctly this time.”

Yu Gong felt hurt. “I didn’t even use idioms!”

Wei Wei: “We can’t presume too much from you. Four characters together counts as an idiom… …”

Yu Gong: “Actually, this thing, idioms, has become a psychological trauma since my childhood.”

Ho Zi Jiu: “How is psychological trauma different from a perverted mental mind?”

Yu Gong ignored him and hurtfully narrated, “Does everybody know that idiom “Foolish Man Moving the mountain”, it’s about an old man leading his entire family to dig every single day … ….”

Wei Wei hurried stopped him from going over basic elementary school education: “We know, no need to explain.”

Yu Gong: “Oh, good thing you know. You know I’m called Yu Ban Shan, so I kept saying the idiom as Yu Gong Ban Shan. It was due to this that I got punished by the Chinese teacher many times (flames of fury)”

Hou Zi Jiu: “… … Why is your trauma even simpler than me exhaling a harmful gas.”[7]

Mo Zha Ta; “… … So dumbness starts from childhood.”

Wei Wei: “I’m generous, I won’t say anything … …”

Yu Gong very pathetically went to the corner to grow mushrooms.

Mo Zha Ta didn’t give up and kept questioning Wei Wei: “Sansao, you’re really trusting Laosan? Shanghai is such a world of sensual pleasure, the drinking parties are like waves in the sea.”

Wei Wei: “Didn’t he go to update Feng Teng’s software systems?”

Mo Zha Ta was shocked: “Sansao you know!”

Of course she knew.

Da Shen’s airplane was eight thirty. He actually managed to take her out at seven for breakfast. In passing, he reported his itinerary and the length of his trip.

And then he had unhurriedly left.

Sansao, you only know the first, but not the second. He doesn’t need to go there physically to update.” Hou Zi Jiu said: “Apparently Feng Teng’s CEO is helping Laosan get a big client, so he had to temporarily take an absence.”

Yu Gong was revived. “Hehe, if he gets this client, Laosan will have his laopoben.”[8]

Mo Zha Ta cooperated with him, pretending to be very surprised. “You need this much for a laopoben?!”

Yu Gong added, “He wanted to marry the faculty beauty. It’s a faculty beauty.”

Wei Wei wanted to grind her teeth. But facing “not Da Shen” people’s taunts, Wei Wei hadn’t lost before. She sent a smiley face and said: “No two ways about it, Da Shen doesn’t have ambitions, doesn’t want to marry a rich woman.”

Yu Gong: “. . .  . .”

A minute later, far away at a drinking engagement, a certain somebody’s cellphone received another complaint: “Your wife is bullying me.”

Imperceptibly putting the phone back into the pocket, Xiao Nai’s mouth was relaxed.

It looked like a certain someone, even when he wasn’t there, was living pretty happily.

But, far away at B City, a certain happy somebody very quickly became a tragic somebody. It started with Er Xi saying, “Oh my god, Wei Wei, get on the university forums.”

[1] Hanging From The Southeast Branch is a famous song from 2009 whose lyrics are made from 72 poems.

[2] Eight is pronounced (ba) is Chinese which is similar to bye. 88 is therefore bye-bye.

[3]打酱油: literally buying soy sauce. It usually means that the child is actually old enough to go out alone, so already not a baby, but not yet a teenager.

[4] It implies that somebody is proceeding slowly with their plans, as it would be much faster to cook a frog with hot water. If you use warm water, the frog won’t try to escape, but if you put the frog in boiling water, it will.

[5]巫山云雨: 巫山(Mount Wu) 云雨 (Clouds and rain) is the literal meaning. However, it also implies sexual intercourse.

[6] There is 糠师傅 and 康师傅 (both are kang shi fu in pinyin). However, the first brand is a knockoff of the second, which is a very large food brand and company in China.

[7] The gas is carbon dioxide. So simpler than breathing.

[8]老婆本: lao po ben. It’s the amount of wealth that a man “needs” to have, which usually includes a car, a house and other possessions, before a woman would most likely consider marrying him. It has developed in modern China due to the rise in house prices as well as the increased cost of living and education for children. In China, if a man doesn’t have enough, the family of the female would not agree to the marriage.