何为贤妻 To Be A Virtuous Wife Chapter Ninety “The Composure of a Queen”

This chapter has been brought to you by me, leecherleechleech and vivie.

Sweet and hot.

Xiao ye is like an arrogant way of saying “I”.

Chapter Ninety The Composure of a Queen

When the first roar of thunder occurred, Qu Qing Ju had started consuming her evening meal at the table. Because she had toured Kui Yuan Palace in the afternoon, she had taken a nap when she got back. When she woke up, the evening meal had to be delayed.

The mushroom slice she had in her chopsticks almost fell to the table. She listened to the roar of wind outside, and put down her chopsticks, frowning as she asked: “It’s going to rain?”

“It must be.” Mu Jin and some of the other palace maids firmly shut the windows in the hall. She walked next to Qu Qing Ju to gently fan her, “There wasn’t any sunshine today, but it was humid. It’s not strange that thunder will occur.”

Qu Qing Ju nodded. The common people liked to use the days of the sixth month to describe a baby’s face. It could be seen just how quickly the summer weather had changed. This moment, it was raining, the next, the sun could come out.

She picked up her chopsticks again. When she just picked up a piece of tofu, there was another clap of thunder. But her adaptive abilities were high and she calmly placed the tofu into her mouth. A short time later, she heard the sound of rain falling. From the sound, the rain seemed very heavy. If someone was walking around the outside corridors at the moment, with that wind and the rain, they would definitely become a drowned rat.

The hand that Mu Jin was holding a fan with stopped moving. She looked in surprise when the Emperor, drenched in water, appeared at the doorway. She retreated to one side and with the other servants, knelt down.

“Emperor?” Qu Qing Ju put down the chopsticks in her hands. She walked quickly to He Heng and touched his soaked clothing. Turning, and from a quick-witted Jin Zhan, she took a cotton cloth, wiping him down as she led him towards the inner room, “Such heavy rain. From the front hall to here, it’s an entire circle around, what are you doing coming now?!”

As she reproached, she reached out to take down the dragon and pearl coronet in He Heng’s hair. She took out a clean robe and reached to untie the other’s belt.

He Heng looked at the palace maids and taijian that had followed in and used his eyes to order them to leave. He turned, smiling, as he explained: “I just heard the thunder and was worried you would be afraid. Just wanted to take a look, but didn’t expect that the rain would come down halfway.”

“With this weather, the rain comes down whenever it wants. There’s so many people keeping me company, I won’t get scared. Running out like this, it makes people worry,” Qu Qing Ju peeled off his clothing, and poked at the muscles on his chest, “How are the servants attending you, don’t they know to have an umbrella to block the rain for you.”

He Heng smiled, he didn’t say that he left so abruptly that the servants didn’t have the time to prepare. He gathered the other in his embrace, the muscles on his chest feeling her warm breath: “Just a few drops of rain, it’s nothing.”

Qu Qing Ju glared at him and pinched at his waist: “Change first.”

Helplessly releasing the person in his arms, He Heng stripped himself bare in front of Qu Qing Ju. Seeing her teasing look as she examined him up and down, he asked: “What is it?”

Qu Qing Ju rubbed her chin, and then came forward to caress his muscles: “Such a handsome beauty, why don’t you let xiao ye have a kiss? If you follow xiao ye, you’ll get to drink and eat well.” Finishing, she went on tiptoes to kiss He Heng’s chin and then quickly stepped back. She saw He Heng’s little brother stand up spiritedly.

Standing up this easily? Qu Qing Ju raised an eyebrow and smiled as she took another step back. In a regretful voice, she said: “It’s hot mourning right now. This servant has no way to serve Emperor, such a pity.” Finishing, she pretended to wiped her tears away.

He Heng took a large step forward and captured the other in his arms. He turned and put her down on the large bed, fiercely pressing down on Qu Qing Ju and kissing multiple times before panting as he declared: “People say the fox spirits enchant people, yet I didn’t know what was a fox spirit. Today, I know that one as tempting as Qu Qing Ju is a fox spirit.” Finishing, his hand rubbed at Qu Qing Ju’s chest, smiling as he teased, “Is Beauty happy with the service of xiao ye?”

Qu Qing Ju reached to slide her hand from He Heng’s shoulders to his waist, the tip of her tongue swiping across the corner of her mouth, “Why is beauty so eager and so naked to throw yourself into an embrace, it’s really making xiao ye embarrassed.”

He Heng’s entire body was burning from Qu Qing Ju’s actions. His hands pulled and he spend a long time on her body before in a raspy voice, he promised: “After these three months, watch how I sort you out.” Finishing, he pulled her hand and slowly moved it down.

In the end, He Heng finally extinguished the fire with Qu Qing Ju’s help. He pulled a blanket to wrap around the two of them, his nose rubbing at Qu Qing Ju’s fragrant and smooth shoulder. Hearing the rain outside, he said: “With Qing Ju, I feel that all the women in the world are just so. A thousand of them cannot compare to one of Qing Ju.”

Qu Qing Ju smiled as she wrapped an arm around his neck, permitting him to play around at her chest, but she didn’t speak. After He Heng ascended the throne, except in front of outsiders, he had never called himself “zhen” in private with her. His attitude towards her was the same as when they had been at Duan Wang Fu, and it was even more intimate now.

She wasn’t a cynic, so she wouldn’t retreat out of fear because of He Heng’s attitude. From a certain perspective, she enjoyed the good He Heng gave her, and she would return the same to He Heng. If He Heng really had feelings towards her, she would be delighted. If He Heng had no feelings for her, she wouldn’t be heartbroken. And she had the confidence that before she would die in exhilaration, she would dig a hole for He Heng.

Love wasn’t essential in life. But if there was love to flavor her life, she wouldn’t reject enjoying it.

In the novels, the women tortured themselves because of love. But she wasn’t the female protagonist, she didn’t have to walk the road they did. She wasn’t even scared of death, would she be scared of this thing called love?

Qu Qing Ju’s smiled coquettishly. Her right hand moved up and down his back. Just when He Heng became totally distracted, she kicked He Heng aside, grabbing He Heng’s robe to wrap around her body and flipped off the bed. She stood beside the bed, looking from high up down at He Heng, “The fact that the Emperor could say such things, it’s that you have seen a thousand ships. But it’s a pity that qie only has Emperor as the only man and doesn’t know which man is better. So sorry to disappoint.”

He Heng had suffered a kick from Qu Qing Ju but he couldn’t find one bit of anger. He sat up against the headboard, looking at Qu Qing Ju who had a raised chin and narrowed eyes, and laughed out loud.

Why was it that when Qu Qing Ju was clearly wearing his robe, but he felt she was still inexplicably attractive?

He Heng didn’t know that the thing that attracted him, it had a special name. It was the “composure of a queen”.

The palace attendants outside heard the laughter of the Emperor coming from inside the room. Their expressions didn’t change. They had never seen the Emperor come and be in a bad mood when he left.

By midnight, the thunder had stopped, but there was still a shower of rain. He Heng took advantage of the light from the night luminous pearls to look at Qu Qing Ju who was deeply asleep. He quietly and softly made his way out of the bed. When he put on the robe, he found from the pile of clothing the pouch that Qu Qing Ju had embroidered for him, and didn’t even tie his hair before quietly leaving the inner room.

Ming He, who had been waiting outside, saw the Emperor was holding his socks and shoes as he walked out barefoot. He quickly knelt in front of the Emperor to help him put on his socks and shoes before asking in a small voice: “Emperor, return to the palace now?” Right now, it was the hot mourning period. If the Emperor stayed for the whole night at the Empress’ residence, even if no one dared to say anything, it still wouldn’t look good.

“En,” He Heng nodded. He looked behind him and left with his attendants.

Inside the room, Qu Qing Ju was sleeping happily.

After finishing the matter of Duan Wang Fu’s shiqie, Qu Qing Ju finally had the time to go to the two palaces of the two Dowager Empresses to sit. The past few days, she had made her greetings before leaving. Now that her title was established and she had finished off much of the matters in the hougong, it was time to exchange feelings with the two popo.

Muhou Empress Dowager wasn’t very chatty. She spoke with Qu Qing Ju for a short while before letting Qu Qing Ju leave to rest. On the second day, Qu Qing Ju headed towards the residence of Sheng Mu Empress Dowager.

Empress Dowager Wei’s Fu Shou Palace was on the western side of the palace. Qu Qing Ju had to travel for a significant period of time on the phoenix carriage until she reached the gates of Fu Shou Palace. From the names of the palaces for the two Empress Dowagers, it was possible to see the Emperor’s intentions. Muhou Empress Dowager had eternal and peace. When it got to Sheng Mu Empress Dowager, it was good fortune and long life.

It could be seen that the best children were your own.

Coming into Fu Shou Palace, Wei Empress Dowager got Qu Qing Ju to sit. Her treatment of Qu Qing Ju hadn’t changed. Even when she mentioned He Heng’s announcing of crowning her Empress that was more like a love letter, Wei Empress Dowager wasn’t unhappy, just smiled and said: “After aijia[i] heard the Imperial Decree, it caused aijia to laugh for a long time. The Emperor set his heart on you, that’s a good thing.” She sighed, “Don’t think too much. Aijia knows you are a good child. If there is someone stupid in this hougong, you are the mistress of this hougong, just severely punish them.”

This was blankly telling Qu Qing Ju she wasn’t going to touch the affairs of the hougong.

This gave Qu Qing Ju a new understanding of her popo. According to the old ways, after a woman, riding on the success of her son, became the Empress Dowager, she would try to enjoy the taste of being high up, but why was her popo worried for her like she wouldn’t be able to control the hougong?

Muhou, don’t worry, erxi understands,” She looked at the surroundings and found that the decorations were not brightly colored due to the mourning person but they were finer than the original Zhong Jing Palace, “Does muhou have any place that needs something to be added? Erxi will get them to do it immediately.”

“With you and the Emperor on top, aijia won’t lack for anything here. Whenever something good comes out of the Department of Internal Affairs, you and Emperor always rushed to let them deliver it to aijia’s here. If you get them to send more, there would be no room in this palace,” Empress Dowager Wei smiled and patted her hand, “If you have any idle time in the future, come more often to sit at aijia’s palace. Any other things, aijia would have more than you.”

Empress Dowager Wei was speaking the truth. She was the Emperor’s mother. The Emperor was a filial son. The Empress wasn’t an erxi that would oppose her at every point. Every day, she was being fawned over by the taifei. She occasionally would summon Shu taifei to chat about life realizations. If there was time, she would summon the artists from the palace department to tell stories to her. Her days were very comfortable.

What she wanted had all came true. Her son was the Emperor, she had a good relationship with her erxi. She didn’t want to be a female emperor. Trying to fight for the control of the hougong with her erxi rather than living her good days, was she stupid?

Even more, there were two Empress Dowagers in this palace. If she entered into the affairs of the hougong, the other Empress Dowager would naturally have reason to enter. Her own son’s harem, would she let others meddle?

So Empress Dowager Wei felt it was good right now, nothing had to change.

Qu Qing Ju managed to bum off a noon meal off of Empress Dowager Wei. The poxi also talked about the events of He Heng’s childhood before she left in satisfaction.

Walking out of Fu Shou Palace, Qu Qing Ju said to Mu Jin: “Muhou is probably the woman I admire the most.” This kind of woman, in any place, was worthy of admiration. The only pity was that she didn’t meet a good man.

Mu Jin knew that the muhou the Empress meant was Sheng Mu Empress Dowager. As a palace maid, she couldn’t comment, but she agreed in her heart. She was also relieved. If Sheng Mu Empress Dowager liked to control everything in the hougong, it would be very worrisome.

When the phoenix carriage passed the Imperial Gardens, Qu Qing Ju unexpectedly found He Heng was standing beside the lotus pond. Kneeling in front of him as a young girl dressed in a green girdled dress.

Her brows furrowing, Qu Qing Ju indicated for the phoenix carriage to stop.

Mu Jin looked towards the lotus pond, her brows also furrowing. Was that one of the female candidates left over by xiandi?

In the beginning, they had picked a few hundred candidates to enter the palace from across the country. In the end, only twenty something people had remained. But after xiandi passed, the candidates could only live in Tuan Fang Hall and couldn’t move freely. Running to the Imperial Gardens, that was breaking protocol!

Qu Qing Ju stepped down the carriage, smiling as she said: “Mu Jin, let’s go take a look.”

“Yes,” Mu Jin carefully held the Empress’ hand, and the palace maids and taijian followed behind.

He Heng’s face was so dark, ink could be squeeze out. He was going to speak but saw Qu Qing Ju heading in his direction. His expression changed slightly, and he took a step back to increase the distance from the kneeling candidate.

Qian Chang Xin reported in a small voice: “Emperor, Empress is coming over.”

Zhen knows,” He Heng glared at him, “Stop blabbing!”

Qian Chang Xin silently lowered his head and started to examine the patterns on the Emperor’s shoes.

The expression of the girl kneeling on the ground changed, and she buried her head deeper.

[i]哀家: literally grieving person, how Empress Dowagers refer to themselves.

65 thoughts on “何为贤妻 To Be A Virtuous Wife Chapter Ninety “The Composure of a Queen”

  1. I read this part “Just when He Heng became totally distracted, she kicked He Heng aside, grabbing He Heng’s robe to wrap around her body and flipped off the bed.” twice to realize that she really kicked the emperor rofl

    Liked by 6 people

    • Well, they just joined the palace and their prospects for the future are already over because old Emperor died right after…
      I don’t think QQJ would blame them for trying their luck, unless they’re as stupid as Feng Zi Jin… lol

      Liked by 2 people

      • Lol they showed up out of nowhere in front of the Emperor, I’d say, she’s stupid. Maybe not as stupid as FZJ, but she’s stupid nonetheless.😄

        Liked by 2 people

  2. thank you very much—-!
    i just screamed when i saw that there was a new chapter updated! ah—-!
    that scene of he heng coming in drenched and spending time with qing ju, so romantic—-! well, it’s true, since qing ju doesn’t fear death, why would she fear love? also, woo—-composure of the empress, awesome—-! anyway, the two empress dowagers will be able to live happy lives, as long as they stay out of the hougong’s affairs! it’s so nice that qing ju has a great relationship with her mother-in-law!
    what is this, what is this?! who is that impertinent woman?! also, good job, he hemg, taking a step back, haha!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh man HH is such an M lol xD ahahahahah that foreplay was pretty cute. I’m also glad the dowagers empresses aren’t putting pressure on to QQJ!😀
    And ohhhh boy I wonder wat that girl wants??? To enter his harem??? Or to leave? I feel like she wants to enter his harem tho and that’s prob why he is so mad xD!
    Thank you for translating!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh dear that was hot… Hahaha. With this rate, I expect imperial baby when mourning period is over 😆

    And tht last scene is hilarious. Like HH is panicky get caught by QJ with other woman. Haha. Now, who’s this other shameful b*tch… 😈

    Thank you!

    Liked by 5 people

  5. “She occasionally would summon Shu taifei to chat about life realizations.”
    I LoL at this sentence!! Such a pity Shu guifei!!

    And oh… another poor soul who did not know about what is Qu Qui Ju~~~

    Liked by 5 people

  6. What a peaceful chapter, I was thinking… until the last part.😄

    Well… been a while since we had a real cliffhanger (2 or 3 chapters maybe? :p), so I’ll endure!

    Thanks for the chapter!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Admiring qqj more and more. Although she refuses to admit that she is a cynic, its alright i think, she makes a refreshing difference from love sick heroine out there. Especially from those harem xianxia heroines who are morally challenged.

    Qqj will bring hell to that girl in green. Lovely how He Heng was scared of qqj doubting him.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lol this chapter has only been released for like, what, 1-2 hours? I’m guessing you’re a newcomer.🙂 Relax, Wyhcwe updates once a day.😀 So, do come back tomorrow for another update. :p

      Liked by 1 person

  8. As a long-time reader of (Western) romance books, I’m disappointed at QQJ’s attitude toward HH. We’re 3/4 into the book and in her inner dialogue there hasn’t been a single time when she was touched to her soul by his love/tenderness. Whatever he does for her (even the decree), she takes for granted or sees as over-the-top or playacting etc. But she’s never moved in her heart. Even now, she can basically take him or leave him without a clear preference. “If He Heng really had feelings towards her, she would be delighted. If He Heng had no feelings for her, she wouldn’t be heartbroken.” I know that’s being smart, but it’s also not really being in love–and that’s not what I prefer in a romance. Especially when her partner is in love with her.
    I think HH is completely sincere in his feelings for her now and given the kind of man he is, I think he won’t change in the future. And QQJ still being so hardened and cynical toward him (she’s lying when she says she isn’t a cynical person) seems unfair toward HH.
    With that said, I love reading this book and am looking forward to a new installment each morning; that’s how I start my day.

    Liked by 1 person

    • actually i love Qu Qing Ju’s attitude towards love. it can’t be help though. He Heng is an Emperor. and she’s totally at a disadvantage here with women throwing themselves left and right at He Heng. If she fall head over heels for him, I don’t know how will she handle those women. and if you read this novel from the start, he did touched her heart. it is just that our heroine is not the one who easily show her emotions.

      Liked by 2 people

    • To be honest, If I had the capability to act this way towards love I would. I think people like me dont have good resistance to “promising” men and get swept away but if we get shut down everything falls apart. But for QQJ she would be able to brush it off and get back on her feet because she’s not to deep into it. Looking at the way the society is at this time, She has the perfect attitude if I may say. But she is kind of how I wish I was.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Sincerity when you hold all the powers in the relationship is easy to express. HH is the Emperor, the husband, the man.
      Remember, she is supposed to “win and keep” his favors. How can she be genuine about her feelings, even if the other “favor” her? All she knows is that in such a world, “favor” is ephemereal.
      It fades over time. In that historical context, favor is equal to love. And there’s no guarantee you’ll be favored all your life.
      So, that’s what her behaviour is about: she needs time to believe HH, and HH will have to keep reassuring her about his stance about her. Over time, she’ll fall for him progressively, that’s all.
      She knows her place: a woman that can be replaced on a whim. Whatever HH says in the short term, it won’t change that fact. HH has to plan for the long term.
      On the other hand, if QQJ was blinded by love, she would just dig her own grave in that historical world.

      This is no “western romance” novel where the wife can just divorce and build herself a new life afterward. If HH doesn’t “favor” her anymore, what will be left for her is to die slowly in solitude while being bullied by servants.
      She deserves respect for her realism.

      Liked by 3 people

  9. Empress Dowager really is a woman to be admired for. I can sense future QQJ in her. QQJ might be the only woman in history that dare to kick Emperor from bed. I lol at that and the xiaoye part. and OH OH..I smell trouble… There’ll never ever going to be less of woman throwing themselves at HH especially now that he has become Le Emperor. *sigh*

    Liked by 1 person

  10. By robe, it’s the dragon robe right? To allow her to wear that really shows HH’s affections for QQJ

    And this part “managed to bum off a noon meal off of Empress Dowager Wei” really had me laughing xD
    QQJ and her love of good food

    Thank you for another wonderful chapter!

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Thanks for the chapter.
    Many would throw themselves at the Emperor to curry favor, men and women. But this Emperor isn’t easy. >:)
    I love the otp interaction and closeness showed in this chapter, though I hope their heart can be as one.

    Anyone know what this sentence means? “And she had the confidence that before she would die in exhilaration, she would dig a hole for He Heng.”

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Thanks for the chapter. Always a great way to start off my day.

    Ugh, I hope this isn’t another girl throwing herself at HH. What are the guards doing that she could get in there? Aren’t they worried about assassination?

    I feel sad about their relationship. He’s putting his heart and soul into it and she’s all “well if you treat me well then I’ll do the same, but if not, then never mind, you won’t break me.” He’s being duped and has no idea of her true feelings. Although, she’s amazing. I would have loved to know more about her previous life. Did she have friends, family? Was there anyone there who she could be truly open with? It seems that she is truly stress free in the most stressful situation ever. Does not having a free of death do all that? I feel that with her it’s more. She’s truly unflappable.

    I love her chowhound ways. I love it when the author revisits running themes, like with the bonsai tress as well.

    Liked by 3 people

      • But will she ever give him her heart? I know it’s spoilery to ask, but I really dislike their relationship dynamic at this point. It was kinda okay when they were both playing each other in the beginning–at least they were equal in that–but now HH has been deeply in love with her for quite some time and she’s still completely unmoved. It’s ironic when he’s the Emperor, but it’s like she has *all* the power in their relationship, and that’s just not okay. She’s obsessed with not living that scenario where “In the novels, the women tortured themselves because of love.”–implicitly, men would be the torturers with their uncaring attitude. But she’s kinda living that scenario in reverse now: HH is sincere and she’s the one disregarding his feelings. In practice, she does the very thing she seemed to despise in theory. Or maybe she just despised the women weak in their love and prefers being on the other side of the lash. To which I ask: why does there have to be a lash at all? Why is she so cynical–is it ever explained if something happened in her previous life to make her this way?

        Liked by 1 person

      • It’s because she doesn’t think “love” is just a confession of feelings. She’s willing to try now in this chapter, which is a large step forward. Qu Qing Ju thinks love has to be proven over time. You could say that she’s very pragmatic. There is a saying “Can share in poverty but not in wealth”. It refers to how people can change when they become rich and have no hardship any more. Qu Qing Ju is worried that He Heng will be the same and she’s waiting to see what happens.

        Also, it is a very unequal position to be in for females in historical times. Qu Qing Ju literally cannot refuse him because he is her husband and the Emperor. There is no law saying that people have to reciprocate someone else’s love for them. The stories she refers to, the male almost always knows the love the female has and either cheats on her with someone else or uses her to achieve power. But Qu Qing Ju hasn’t cheated on He Heng or used him to advance herself (and is planning on throwing him away) since her promotion is actually “social norm”. She is passively accepting He Heng’s declarations of love without reciprocating verbally.

        Liked by 1 person

      • “It’s because she doesn’t think ‘love’ is just a confession of feelings.”
        I don’t either; I think love is showed by actions and–since we have the advantage of reading a novel–inner thoughts. Both HH’s actions and thoughts have shown repeatedly how deeply he cares for QQJ by now. Admittedly, QQJ can’t know his thoughts but she can read him very well and she must know that he’s stopped pretending with her a long time ago.

        “…it is a very unequal position to be in for females in historical times”
        That is true, from a formal point of view. But from an actual point of view, QQJ and HH’s relationship doesn’t play by those rules at all. Just look how she treats him (arguing, glaring, even kicking him) and he never once reproaches her. That’s the thing really: I have a big pet peeve when it comes to power imbalance in a relationship. And I’d be so pissed off if HH would use his immense formal power to grind QQJ under his boot (He Yuan style) or even try to change her in any way. But he’s never done that. The historic situation just is what he is and in no way HH’s fault; so I won’t hold it against him. Even though there’s a huge power imbalance between HH and QQJ–formally–he negates it through his behavior. So it’s not really an issue. Even QQJ has ignored it from the start and says she’ll run rampant as long as HH tolerates her. Since HH is a romance hero, he’ll more than tolerate her forever. So again, NOT an issue.
        What IS an issue is the *other* power imbalance–the one that is overtly affecting the relationship between HH and QQJ: the power imbalance produced by the fact that he’s the only one who loves in that couple. Which, like I said, is a scenario that just rubs me all kinds of wrong.

        “There is no law saying that people have to reciprocate someone else’s love for them.”
        Lol, there’s kinda an unwritten law, in romance books. Maybe I’ve just been spoiled.🙂 I’m used, when reading romance, to seeing an equal exchange of feelings between the hero and the heroine. Which is obviously not the case here (yet?).
        I don’t think QQJ is obligated to love HH just because *he* loves her. I simply find it odd that, even this late in the book, the heroine can still be so unmoved by the hero after all his gestures of love and all the intimacies they’ve shared. At least, according to her inner thoughts (which could be considered more honest than even her actions). It makes QQJ seem very cold imho. But then again, since I see HH as the hero in a romance book, I automatically expect and trust that once he’s fallen in love he’ll stay true. Which QQJ obviously does not expect.

        “Qu Qing Ju thinks love has to be proven over time.”
        Has she said that? Hmm, I don’t remember. The feeling I got was more that she doesn’t believe in true, lasting love at all. And/or she doesn’t consider it valuable.

        “You could say that she’s very pragmatic.”
        Yes, she is. I used to like that she’s so pragmatic. Under the circumstances, though, imo she’s starting to take it too far. It’s really unusual to have a romance heroine who cares nothing for love and for her husband and lover–and doesn’t seem like she’s willing to change her mind.

        “She’s willing to try now in this chapter…”
        Is she really? It seemed to me she is willing to accept HH’s feelings but she’s certainly no closer to offering a true emotional commitment herself. “If He Heng really had feelings towards her, she would be delighted. If He Heng had no feelings for her, she wouldn’t be heartbroken.” How I understood it: she would let his feelings add “flavor” to her life for now, but when he changes his mind, she won’t be heartbroken. That is, she’s entering the room but keeping a foot out the door ready to sprint, whole of heart, when the room collapses. When, not even if. To me, that’s calculation devoid of feeling. That’s not giving love a fair chance.

        What it comes down to, I think, is personal taste. QQJ prefers to keep herself emotionally walled-up; she doesn’t let love in, in case that love later turns sour. I prefer heroines that give love their all (when the hero is worthy); it it doesn’t work out then yes, they’ll hurt, but then they’ll pick themselves off the floor and move on. Better to have loved passionately and lost than never to have loved at all. Just my two cents.

        Liked by 1 person

    • “I feel sad about their relationship. He’s putting his heart and soul into it and she’s all ‘well if you treat me well then I’ll do the same, but if not, then never mind, you won’t break me.’ ”
      This. Their relationship is imbalanced, and that’s what makes me sad: he’s so much in love with her, and she’s just… not. She can take him or leave him and doesn’t care much either way. That kind of feeling and relationship dynamic between the hero/heroine is *not* what I read romance for.😦


      • QJ is realistic. She’s from the future and knew from history that woman’s position in that era. Woman always be overshadowed by man. Emperor might curry favor/infatuated by her when she’s young, but what happen when she’s older? Will HH still infatuate with her, when bunch of young beautiful women always there for serving HH ? QJ has to guard her feeling/heart from the tragic possibilities. She has seen Emperor Qing De constantly changing heart from one to other. Why QJ has to exclude HH from ths?

        I think the author just want to be phragmatic. Not producing cliche romance, instead how love is actually build. I like how QJ actually has the upperhand in their relationship, not announcing love so easily. She’s intriguing for HH because her modern attitudes and minds. She distinct herself from other women in that era. But in the same time she’s also not indifferent toward HH, but she has her boundaries to drive their relationship. If her way can prolong and flourish their long term relationship, then why not? 😁

        I dont find QJ actually fully guard herself because she’s actually looks jealous whn other woman mentioned/near HH. For me thts actually sign for QJ does care for HH.

        Liked by 4 people

    • I think the main reason is because she has the mentality of a man can love one today, love another tomorrow and this is more prominent in this time period because if he sleeps with another woman, she doesn’t really have a say. Unlike today where if you cheat on your girl friend and not even your wife, you just might be buried alive especially if your girlfriend has feisty friends.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I honestly think QQJ isn’t as cynical as she thinks, however she’s gotten very used to believing that she is. Usually people like that are afraid to be hurt. Thank you very much for all the effort you put into this translations!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. JGF keep climbing my fav list, manage to keep high position in the back palace all those years with such a hopeless emperor and rival waiting for her to show her weakness, not too greedy, taking chances at perfect times and got what she wants in the end, with such a reliable son and daughter in law watching her back 😆
    Ah I wonder who that mysterious girl is?
    Thank you for the chapter! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I love Qu Qing Ju’s composure of a queen! I’m beginning to think that the charm is in her ascent more than He Heng becoming the Emperor. But, of course, I love it when both are united as one and become a formidable force.

    Qian Chang Xin reported in a small voice: “Emperor, Empress is coming over.”

    “Zhen knows,” He Heng glared at him, “Stop blabbing!”

    This is the part I love best. Look who holds real power in the palace? 😄

    Liked by 3 people

  16. I totally agree with Ayoe. She is smart to not totally trust HH love. Let’s not forget that they only married not even a year. Who knows what will happen in the future. It’s fine when she is sixteen. By the time she in her 30 it’s too hard to believe that an emperor will not have any other women. call me pessimistic.but let his former mistress be an example of wife he use to favored and now does not give a crap. I think one of the reason HH like QJ is because her behavior is just right. Not too timid, like her old self. Not too arrogance, like Qin Wang fei. She smart enough to do everything so his reputation is not tarnish and gain alliance. Which in itself does not promised that he will always favor her this much and she knows that thus always prepared herself. I also agree that she really falling for him that is why she have to constantly remind herself not too.
    BTW, thank you so much for translating this. I just catch up and wait for it daily.

    Liked by 1 person

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